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Two Towers: Book III

from Nerdcore by Ari Lesser

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Two Towers

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Book III

Eomer
My name is Eomer I’m a Rohan rider
A masterful horseman and fearless fighter
Get out my way or get trampled by my horse
Cause I show no remorse when I have to use force
Foes flea in fear at the sight of my spear
You can call me Lebron James, I’m a Cavalier
Me an my pack attack on horseback
Slaughtering Orcs like Listerine kills plaque

Ugluk
My name is Ugluk, I’m a big black orc
I’d rather eat man-flesh than a piece of pork
I’m an Uruk-Hai commander, not just a warrior
In charge of orcs all the way from Isengard to Moria
Got a few hundred of them in my command
Beneath Saruman’s emblem of the white hand
And my orcs obey my orders, or they’re dead
If you talk back to me, I’ll cut off your fucking head

Treebeard
The oldest of the ents, I am a foe to be feared
From the forest of Fangorn, I am Treebeard
Be vey careful when you enter my home
For each twig you snap I will break one bone
If you like to smoke a little bit of pipe weed, fine
That I don’t mind, but burning trees is a crime
The wizard Saruman is guilty of this offense
So he’ll face the wrath of the last march of the ents

Quickbeam
I’m a tall smooth ent, my name is Quickbeam
If you want to take Saruman down, I’m on your team
I enjoy singing and I love to laugh
But right now I just want to tear that wizard in half
His Orcs have been cutting down trees for to long
The Fangorn Forest must show that we are strong
So to every ent I call, let us stand tall
Time for us to march, Isengard will fall

Saruman
I’m Saruman the White, wizard with a wealth of power
My home is a stronghold, Isengard’s Tower
I have many enemies, but if you want to harm me
First you got to find a way through my massive army
Of crossbred orc-men I call them Uruk-Hai
And for me every one of them is willing to die
Even if you make it past, I strike you down with my staff
And the last thing you’ll hear is the sound of my laugh

Grima Wormtoungue
I’m Grima Wormtoungue, a man of treason
I’ll betray and stab you in the back for no reason
Controlling kingdoms with the words that I speak
Make the young feel old and the strong feel weak
I’ll get you to do things you’d never consent to
Turn your friends against you, make your family resent you
Poison your mind with what I whisper in your ear
You’re a powerless puppet, I’m the puppeteer

Theoden
You peons listen up while I get my royal flow on
All hail me, I’m the King of Rohan
My nephew’s Eomer, my niece is Eowyn
My son was Theodred, and I’m Theoden
When you enter my court leave your weapon at the door
If I give you an order, you’d better not ignore
Trust me my bite is much worse than my bark
Don’t mess with the First Marshall of the Mark

credits

from Nerdcore, released April 29, 2010
J.R.R. Tolkien: Inspiration

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Ari Lesser Cleveland

Ari Lesser is a singer, songwriter, rapper, and spoken word artist from Cleveland, Ohio. He has performed all over the world, and written hundreds of songs on a wide range of subjects. Ari’s repertoire is expansive, touching on everything from history, to animals, to Star Wars, but now his focus and passion is making music based on the Torah. ... more

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