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The Empire Strikes Back

from Nerdcore by Ari Lesser

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Episode V

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The Empire Strikes Back

Wampa
I’m a Wampa, and I’ll chomp on your flesh
I’m a carnivore I like my meat fresh
My fur is all white and I hunt in the snow
So I ambush my prey and they never know
But I won’t kill you, I’ll keep you alive and
Hang you in my cave with frozen saliva
Then when I’m ready, eat you like spaghetti
An afternoon snack for a nine foot yeti

Stormtooper
I’m a stormtooper open fire shoot you
With my gun on stun put your ass in a stupor
I obey orders no mercy or kindness
Working with a legion of the Empire’s finest
Galactic police and we keep the peace
Rocking riot gear til the rebellion has ceased
Step out of line and go home in a hearse
501st we the best of the worst

Grand Moff Tarkin
Influential and ambitious, I’m Grand Moff Tarkin
Rising up in the ranks as times start to darken
Got a high level job, Palpatine is my employer
In my garage I got a whole fleet of Star Destroyers
I show no mercy, my heart’s harder than granite
I’ll use the Death Star to destroy your whole planet
I’ve exterminated billions, and I feel no remorse
Keep the galaxy in line through fear of force

Emperor Palpatine
The Galactic Emperor, I am Palpatine
Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen
I’m the Sith Lord the Jedi were looking for
The man behind both sides of the civil war
Grabbed executive power in the midst of the fear
With my Stormtrooper army in white riot gear
Now I am commander in chief, of police
Sith will rule the galaxy and we will have peace

Darth Vader
I’m a straight hater wielding a light saber
Used to be Anakin now they call me Darth Vader
Dark Lord of the Sith, half man half machine
Serving my master Emperor Palpatine
I’ll choke you to death, make you shirt collar tighter
Or blow you to pieces with my advanced tie fighter
You can’t defeat me so don’t even bother
I’ll discipline your ass like I am your father

Lando Calrissian
I’m Lando Calrissian, a hustler for sure
Professional gambler, and entrepreneur
If you want to visit me all you got to do is fly
To my home Cloud City, it’s like Vegas in the sky
We got tons of casinos, you can test your luck
But I’m the kind of friend who sell you out to make a buck
Not a classy gentleman, no matter how I look
I’m a con-man, underneath the surface I’m a crook

Boba Fett
A Mandalorian warrior, my name is Boba Fett
When it comes to bounty hunters, I’m the best you can get
I’m a mercenary, an assassin for hire
Working for Jabba the Hutt and the Galactic Empire
I have way more weapons than can fit in my pockets
Flame-throwers, rifles, wrist lasers, and rockets
Strapped with full body armor, and a jetpack to fly
So I can make my get away before you even die

credits

from Nerdcore, released April 29, 2010
George Lucas: Inspiration

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Ari Lesser Cleveland

Ari Lesser is a singer, songwriter, rapper, and spoken word artist from Cleveland, Ohio. He has performed all over the world, and written hundreds of songs on a wide range of subjects. Ari’s repertoire is expansive, touching on everything from history, to animals, to Star Wars, but now his focus and passion is making music based on the Torah. ... more

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